Hot Bubblegum by SoapyMayhem
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
0. . . oO•.o.Hot Bubblegum.o.•Oo . . .0
*\o\Edward Masen Cullen/o/*
Of all the scenarios I'd imagined during the short journey from the foyer to the den, I never could have predicted that I'd find my thirteen-year-old sister and her pimple-faced boyfriend sitting quietly on the couch, not touching, not kissing or groping, but watching fucking porn of all things.
Porn starring Bella.
"What the fuck are you watching?" I shouted, unable to contain the words as they angrily slipped past my lips.
My head hurt trying to figure out - to comprehend - exactly what I was seeing, so much so that I barely registered my mother's chastising voice warning me from the kitchen.
As my eyes focused in on the screen, I watched a spandex-clad Bella fly in through the window, her superhero cape billowing in the breeze - the barest hint of cleavage peeking over her shiny top.
It had to be one of those big budget movie rip offs - those silly adult films with derivative scripts and terrible acting.
Of its own accord, my hand flew to cover my mouth as I waited with trepidation, knowing that any second I would begin to see bare skin, penetration... bouncing tits - Sexy, superhero Bella fucking the bad guys into submission with her mouthwatering pussy.
"Jasper, this is my idiot brother, Edward."
I vaguely heard my sister's sarcastic voice over the television surround sound and Bella giving a speech about how "crime doesn't pay." It was then that I noticed the oddly placed sound of a laugh track.
Since when did porn have laugh tracks?
"Hey, we're watching that. You mind not standing in front of it?" Alice snapped irritably. "Rude."
"What the hell is this?" I asked, realizing that no one was actually getting naked or using any kind of innuendo or curses, and it seemed that Bella really was just taking down some bad guys.
"What planet have you been living on, Edweird?" she retorted, making Jasper giggle behind his hand. His pre-pubescent boy laugh sounded more feminine than my sister's.
"Grow up, Ali. Just tell me what... this is."
"It's the series finale," she answered sarcastically, but I only stared at her dumbly, "... of Girl Next Door..." As if that was supposed to mean something to me.
If Alice wasn't careful, she was going to grow up to be a raving bitch. I almost felt bad for this Jasper kid - she'd have him by the balls before he learned what they were even there for.
Raised voices caught my attention and I turned back to the screen, watching enraptured as Bella rounded up a few more criminals, only to hand them over to the cops.
She was a fucking hot little vigilante.
I couldn't help but smile.
It was then that a familiar little logo started spinning in the bottom corner of the screen.
Bella was a fucking Mouseketeer.
What the fuck was I thinking?
Was this the secret she was afraid to tell me?
"You guys like this show?" I asked a bit more calmly than before, turning to Jasper as I made my way to the recliner.
"It's pretty cool," he replied, his voice wavering comically. Alice rolled her eyes and hit the rewind button on the TiVo remote so they could re-watch the parts I interrupted with my idiotic rant.
So Bella was a teenage superhero, not a porn star.
Did I feel relieved?
Once I learned a little more about Bella, and Girl Next Door, I felt all the tension and anxiety I'd been holding in over the last two weeks evaporate.
So what if she was on some Disney show?
Though, it was kind of weird that my kid sister was a fan. That was exactly why I didn't tell Alice that I knew Bella personally - intimately.
The little brat would probably freak out and demand to meet her.
I couldn't even get Bella's digits, much less get the girl to go on a date, so there was no way I should even consider subjecting her to the torture of meeting my crazy family.